Hosting Thanksgiving is such a fun time! And it goes without saying that The Thankful Onion’s favorite holiday is… wait for it… THANKSGIVING!! So how could you possibly fail at hosting such a thankful, loving holiday? It might be easier than you think.

thanksgiving

Forget the Pumpkin Pie

There you go! If you want to fail at hosting Thanksgiving, forget the pumpkin pie. Just don’t have one. Don’t make one, don’t buy one, don’t even think about having one at the party. I mean, whoever thought pumpkin pie would go well with Thanksgiving dinner? Crazy stuff, right?

Pumpkin pie is not my favorite pie in the world. But I can’t imagine not having it for Thanksgiving dinner. A warm slice of pumpkin pie with a dollop of whipped cream… mmmmm. That just says Thanksgiving. So leaving it out would definitely be a fail.

 

pumpkin-pie

Who needs it?!

 

Undercook the Turkey

Who needs a fully cooked turkey? Rare, medium rare, what’s the difference? It’s ok to eat partially cooked turkey, right?

Ummmm, no. Don’t eat a partially cooked turkey. It will NOT taste good. It will probably make you very sick. And you will probably get a little extra vacation time from work, but not the fun kind. Just trust me on this one. Don’t eat the raw turkey meat!

 

wild turkey

If your turkey looks like this, it might be a little underdone.

 

Just Go Ahead and Burn That Baby!

A burned turkey is so much better than a raw one. Very well done, turkey tar tar. Sounds delicious, right? Sure, if you want to fail at hosting Thanksgiving.

What fun is a beautifully browned bird? Nicely roasted, juicy, and tender? Who wants that? Yeah, if you want to fail at hosting Thanksgiving, just char broil that gobbler.

roast turkey

You will definitely fail if you don’t cook your bird beautifully.

 

Starve the Guests

Nobody even thinks about eating on Thanksgiving, right? Who contemplates food, dessert, a menu… any of that on Thanksgiving day? Crazy. Just invite everyone over and serve ice water, ok? That will be a great way to fail at hosting Thanksgiving.

Food, food, food. That is the epicenter of every Thanksgiving party and every conversation about the Thanksgiving holiday. It is a very important aspect of the holiday. Food carries out our traditions and customs for this holiday. A major host fail would be to just look past the food and not worry about hungry guests.

thanksgiving dinner

Fuhgetaboutit…

 

So there you go… you have several easy ideas on how to fail at hosting a Thanksgiving party or get-together. Just follow my lead and you’ll never be asked to host again. Bahahahaha.

Don’t be a failure. Hosting Thanksgiving is so much easier than you think. Just dive in; it’s almost impossible to fail. Can you think of any other ways to fail at hosting your own Thanksgiving? Let me know in the comments.

happy thanksgiving